Do you notice when you feel stressed, you feel agitated and on edge? You snap at people and you take your feelings out on those who probably don't deserve it.
I get it! You want things to feel some kind of normal, but there are times you experience things that feel chaotic and out-of-sorts. Especially this year and especially now!!! Anything that makes us feel uncertain, or insecure, is scary.
Most of the time it's the things we can't control that stress us out more.
So, how can we improve our lives even when stressful situations are inevitable?
Control The Only Thing You Can...
YOU!
You may not have control of the situations that currently have you biting your nails or pacing the floor, but controlling yourself and how you respond will make those situations easier to get through.
Just yesterday I told my husband and son in the car,
"Stress can be one of our greatest teachers!"
I have felt a little stressed lately, and I am learning to ask empowering questions like, "how I can be the greatest version of myself when I feel this way."
Instead of assuming that everyone should know how to treat me as to not aggravate me, push my buttons, or hurt my feelings, I need to learn how to control myself and how I respond to those feelings inside of me. When I am aware of how to deal with myself, then I will understand how to respond to others.
When you are reactive to life, it is possible you have a victim mindset. I know this from experience. Reactive people usually blame others for their stress and pain instead of learning how to respond with control and wisdom.
If you are a victim of abuse or mistreatment, then it is imperative that you get help right away.
However, if something happened to you 20 or 30 years ago and you're still the victim in every situation that feels threatening to you (even when it's not) then you need to heal that part of your life, or you will always struggle.
When we take the time to respond to life from our heart, we open ourselves to hearing our inner wisdom and we rely on our inner guidance to guide us through a tough situation.
If we are open-minded enough, we can learn more about ourselves and how to correct old patterns and behaviors while in the middle of stressful situations! But we have to stop blaming others and circumstances as our reasons for NOT changing ourselves.
We can't place blame and expect different results in our lives, or from others. We must take responsibility for our actions and heal from our past. I continue to learn these lessons every single day!
I love what Gabby Bernstein teaches in her latest audio book "You Are The Guru". She says that we have to ask ourselves why we are so easily triggered and how can we heal this part of us!
If we will admit it, there are areas deep within us that simply need healing. As adults, we've learned to push through our hurts and pains because it's the grown-up thing to do. We have responsibilities and we think we don't have enough time for ourselves while raising our families, working, etc.
My dear friend, there is always time for healing. Even if you have to make time by waking up early, or going to bed late, or finding a friend to talk to, or writing your thoughts in a journal. There is time for you to heal in your own way, but you must choose to do so. Time won't just appear for you. We all only have 24 hours in a day, so take time where you can and use it for your advantage!
Maybe it's something physical that is pressing on your mind and you need to stop stressing and find clarity. Maybe it's your environment that has caused you to feel stressed. Maybe it's a relationship, and it's not going as good as it could be.
Try to calm your mind, surrender your expectations and the need to control, see the situation as it is, cultivate peace within you. Then ask yourself an empowering question like, "How can I respond to this that will serve the greater good for everyone, including me?"
I have also been around people throughout my life that seem to wear stress, worry, and anxiety as a badge of honor. Somehow for them, it's honorable to be stressed about the things they can't control.
Please don't misunderstand, I fully understand that there are legitimate concerns that need our attention if we are going to influence the future.
Whether it be our family, our children, our country, our city, or state, we have to have some level of concern about these things in order to invoke change.
However, the stress that I refer to is the kind you can't control with your own being. It's the stress that keeps you from sleeping, it weakens your immune response and keeps you from thinking clearly. I know this because I used to be one of those people.
It's not honorable to live in a constant state of worry over anything. Learn how to accept things as they are, change them if you can, but mentally move forward and away from the things you can't control. It doesn't mean you no longer care. It means you're not allowing it to consume your life.
It's time to learn how to let it go and rise above it.
For world events and information, (like the unrest in our country right now), continue to be informed from the sources you care about, but learn how to protect your peace. Don't drag on in a conversation about how bad things are.
Stay away from topics you know will cause anxiety in your life. Anxiety doesn't create positive change in any situation, it just breads more fear.
I cannot stress this enough! Do not become addicted to negative information! You don't need a constant flow of things wrong in the world coming into your life.
Learn how to have some quiet time and reflect on what you love about life and what serves your highest good and the highest good of others.
How you see the world is how you will experience the world. If it's a dark and scary place with lots of danger, hopelessness, and loss then that's exactly what you will experience.
If you see the world as beautiful, full of life, hope, and miracles, then you will experience all of that in your life. You'll have bad days as everyone does, but those bad days and difficult situations won't consume.
I love sharing one of my favorite bible scriptures that rings true in every situation in life...
"As a man (or woman) thinks in his (or her) heart, so is he (or her)". Proverbs 23:7
What are you thinking about regarding yourself?
What are you thinking about regarding life?
That's where you begin!
Start seeing these stressful situations as opportunities to conquer areas within yourself where you've lost control. Use the hard times to empower yourself instead of allowing them to weaken you.
Take your life back! Ground yourself to peace. Take control of YOU, strengthen your will and mind! When you are in control of you, life is easier to navigate because you are developing and living from your strengths.
Don't let stressful things mask the best parts of you to the world.
Let your greatest self be at the forefront of your life. Life is a journey of discovery, healing, growth and glorious adventure!
Keep moving forward in all of that!
I hope this encouraged you today! Never give up! You're amazing!
Love and hugs,
Charity