Love Without Judgment... Is It Possible?
Updated: Feb 17, 2021
Short answer? Yes, it is.
I've had a lot of time to think about this statement, "Love without judgment".
I have wanted to understand its meaning and be able to clarify what judgment really is. So, here is my understanding of it from my own experience.
I grew up in a Christian culture where judging someone (by what was being produced from their life) was a good thing. Church leaders and churchgoers referred it to the scripture out of the Bible, "You shall know them by their fruits." Matthew 7:15-20
Unfortunately, this scripture was referring to false prophets. Not your neighbor, friend, family member, or random stranger on the street.
As a human race, we are made up of many different cultures and beliefs. Personally, I think this is beautiful and is something worth embracing. Just as we're all different colors, we also each have unique perspectives on life.
So, why do we judge each other so harshly? We're all living on Earth together. Regardless of our opinions or beliefs, we all bleed red and are all connected in some way.
Many, many people have difficult lives and as a result, their behavior reflects the suffering they feel inside. So, shouldn't we try to understand people more than casting them out in harsh criticism and judgment?
Referring to the scripture mentioned above, with trees, you can't see the roots. You can't see how deeply a person is hurting, or what has caused it unless you actively pursue a relationship with them in order to befriend them and possibly help them. Sadly, many never go that far to find why someone is the way they are.
I know this post today may be a little hard-hitting, but I think it's worth talking about. I've been hyper-aware of this in my own life, especially this year.
The world needs compassion from each other. We need to give each other space to feel heard and accepted for who we are inside.
The most amazing feeling that I've ever experienced is when I can love and be loved without judging or feeling judged... for any reason!
My daughter and I both got tattoos almost a year ago. She was 16 when she asked for one and I didn't tell her no. She wanted it to be a mother-daughter thing that we did together. So, I told her we'd talk about it as a family and decide from there. After she turned 17, she and I both got tattoos.
It was a special time and the way it all happened was pretty outstanding too! However, I was freaking terrified of letting people know about it!
I was so afraid of being judged, misunderstood, or rejected. At home, I felt confident with this beautiful decor on my shoulder, but putting it out there for family, social media friends and on my blog to see, was super scary!
Why was I so afraid?
Because all of my life people have always had a certain opinion of me, and in my mind, a tattoo would somehow darken my good reputation. Crazy, right?
But I couldn't have been more ecstatic about it!!! There's not a day that goes by where I don't look at my body and absolutely love it! It also makes me thrilled and grateful that I had this experience with my daughter.
So, with everything going on in my mind, I just went for it! I ignored the fear of judgment and did what I wanted to for my life. Also, I was not about to back away from something that was important to my daughter.
My good nature and moral character didn't change because of some ink on my skin. So, why should I allow the labels that others have placed on me to define me?
If we are to bring freedom to ourselves and others, we must learn how to love people (and ourselves) without judgment.
Love people where they are. Love them first without trying to change them to fit your narrative of life. Love people because that's what you would want for yourself! Love them because that may be all they need!
By no means is this easy. If it was, then we wouldn't be in the shape we are in as a country, society, and culture.
As I've said before...
"It's the challenging things that cause us to grow"!
When we learn to see anyone, including ourselves, through the eyes of love it frees our hearts to have a deeper connection with life. If there is a concern you have with people, a door will open for you to share your heart, and possibly help them through a struggle they're having. But your only job before that is to love.
Remember though, loving yourself first needs to be a priority. It's not selfish or prideful... it's wise. You can't have deep, loving, grounded connections with others if you're not deeply grounded in love with yourself.
As always, I'm sending my love and hugs from my heart to yours!
Have a great day!
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